Ambivalent attachment in adults

Gregg Jantz September 17, Gregg Jantz 4 Comments. In a previous post, we discussed the traits of individuals with The Secure Attachment Style. An ambivalent attachment style comes from a childhood in which love and affection are inconsistently given, based on factors the child does not understand.

A secure style comes from consistency, reliability, and safety in one's childhood. As an adult, those with a secure attachment style can reflect back on their childhood and see both the good and the bad that occurred, but in the proper perspective. Overall, they generally feel that someone reliable was always available to them in their formative years. In adulthood, they enjoy close, intimate relationships and do not fear taking risks in love. The three insecure patterns are "avoidant," "ambivalent" and "disorganized. In general, people with an insecure attachment style have trouble connecting with others emotionally.

Human beings are born with strong survival instincts. Babies have an innate drive to make sure that they get their basic needs met by a parent, caregiver or other significant person in their life. Different children develop different strategies for accomplishing this depending on the emotional environment and the kind of care available to them. The fourth attachment category, known as disorganized attachment, occurs when no organized strategy is formed. Attachment researchers have identified attunement as being significant in the formation of an attachment.

Verified by Psychology Today. Compassion Matters. Relationships are very much about give and take. At their best, they are a back-and-forth flow of love and affection.